Ahh I wish I lived near Indy
I went out and bought a new battery. Not the brand I wanted, but it was in a pinch, and I 1) didn't feel like leaving my motorcycle parked in a gas station parking lot overnight at the exit of the Holland Tunnel, and 2) I didn't feel like shelling out $200 for a freakin' tow.
So, one of my friends picked me up and we went to Advanced Auto Parts (my first mistake) and according to their computer (my second mistake), found the right battery for the RC-51. Took it back to the gas station, unhooked the old battery, put in the new one, and 1) it was probably a good 6 inches taller than the battery that was in there, and 2) when I did finally get it hooked up, nothing happened. Not even the lights on the instrument panel lit up. WTF.
So then decided to read the battery manual. It came with a separate container of acid. That I had to fill the battery with. And let sit for an hour to let the gas escape. And then plug into a battery tender for 12 hours. Ain't nobody got time for that!
So I called a few friends to see if any of them had battery tenders (I lost mine when I moved). No one does. Weird for other riders, I suppose. And then one asked me if I jumped it. I said I didn't, and the manual says not to jump it with a car. He said F the manual, just do it.
And I was desperate. So I did it. And it worked! Yay! So I was able to drive home and secure it (yay!) and will be returning the Advanced Auto Parts battery tomorrow, and ordering a new one online.
Which leads me to this: any recommendations on a new battery?
And thanks for your help earlier, madbuyer (and generous trailer offer, had I lived closer to Indy).